How do you handle anger?
Have you ever felt hurt, angry or hateful towards someone or something? You tried to overlook the things that they said or did to you, but you still felt resentment - and maybe for the moment – loathing toward them! “How dare they say that to me! Who do they think they are?” It may or may not have been intentional, or it may have simply been a misunderstanding. You just know that it made you angry! You find yourself dwelling on it over and over.
The more we dwell on a bad situation or event in our life, the more distressed over it we become. Even an insignificant oversight can grow out of proportion until we believe it was a huge injustice. As or grows, our distress shows up in our facial expressions and the way we stand or carry ourselves. It even effects communications with others. Before we know it – we are not only miserable about the little things happening around us, but now people are going out of their way to avoid us. Our attitude really sucks!
Spending minutes and hours thinking about all of the times you felt that you were hurt unjustly, mistreated or lied to takes up so much of our precious time. Giving negative thoughts any time or consideration at all is taking away from our productivity and joy. Not to mention it is detrimental to our confidence level and leads us down a path of gloom. We are now swimming in the pool of self-pity – a place we don’t want to be! This is downright depressing!
Feelings of regret may come from a bad relationship, unhappy memories from our childhood, or missed opportunities that we think should have been ours. These are all feelings of regret from our history, and reliving the past keeps the pain replaying. Are we going to allow ourselves to relive these old episodes, or are we going to shake them off? The events of the past are gone.
We don’t have to relive them, or allow them into our thoughts today. If we dwell on our history, we are allowing ourselves to be led by the past. We won’t learn from these lessons; and we won’t progress to our next level of personal development. We will stay in the pool of pity, and we will repeat the same offenses as before. Constantly replaying events of the past only blurs our vision, and we miss the great opportunities that are before us.
We Can Live a New Story
What if instead, we block these feelings as soon as they entered our thoughts? We know that we don’t have control over others; their thoughts and actions. They may still act disrespectfully towards us; say things we don’t like; or even hate us. That’s ok. We don’t have to let our own emotions and actions mirror theirs. We can draw from our courage and strength and let it all go.
We are each the captain of our own ship!
Diana Gillig, CHPC